SWEET GOD, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS DUSSSSSTTTYYY.

I mean I haven't updated in a few months and it's as dusty as hell, I swear to God I didn't do shit.

Literally.

Ok a little update for you goombahs, tomorrow is the start of the LAST week of the holidays for me and I've got some stuff planned for this week. I'm having a barbecue on Friday and it's gonna be FUCKING BIG. No holds barred. Hot dogs, chicken and motherfucking SODA. No beehoon shit or however the hell you spell it.

And another thing, I've now got TWO blogs. So I'm updating the next one after this, the other blog will be filled with my... PERSONAL thoughts. Hah, no joke. So if you want the link just let me know.

So before I go off here's a little something2 for you





ENJOY!

And after... I think it's bout 2 months of hiatus I'm finally back. For good? I don't know we'll see. Haha...

So tomorrow's New Year's eve and EVERYONE's going crazy over it. I mean COME ON, it's the same damn thing every year, you throw a party get wasted and pass out till the next day.

I mean... I myself... Haven't been to a Countdown party...

*looks down sadly*

It ain't fair. SON OF A BITCH.

So... How bout them Lakers eh?

Yeah, I'm out of ideas. LOL

So my New Year resolutions? A better year ahead? More courage to face my challenges head on? Well, I know what I want...

I want my friends and family to live on with peace and prosperity and i wish for me and my friends to stay strong till we wither and die :) That's it really Nothing more nothing less...

So um... There's nothing been going on lately really, I've been hanging out with my friends and all during the holidays and it feels GREAT ^^

Honest to God, it's amazing. Ha, my birthday, Christmas and the days after have been full of fun and excitement. I love you guys.

God, you guys are sick thinking like that. God DAMN. I don't love them like THAT. Shit.

Aw crap... What else can I talk bout now really...

Yeah! Shukry's sleeping over at my house actually. Haha, we're gonna stay up and play some games actually. At least I think so. LOL...

Fingers crossed that I get to go for the countdown with the guys tomorrow I think... Hopefully. It'll be like my first ever countdown party, holy shit.

Later dudes and dudettes!

-Luis-

AND...

Yeah, ok I know I've neglected this little thing called a blog for quite some time ok? I just fed it and gave it some water, so cool it home-boy.

Anyway, you guys recognize the picture above? That particular comic strip is titled "Calvin and Hobbes". I LOVED those strips when I was a kid and I still do, I keep them still too ^^

So the reason behind this little hiatus is due to the lack of stuff happening in my life right now. There's no hardcore, heart-pounding stuff at all so I don't even bother writing in every now and then so yeah.

Term's ending in exactly... 4 weeks or so? Yeah, it's the last term and then it's the December holidays/my birthday/Christmas. MAN, can't wait for it at all.

Notice my infamous sense of humor is nowhere at all? This is what happens when you don't have any fun for almost a month. Parents, take note. Unless you want your kid to be sitting in a cubicle like YOU do, taking orders from the boss and paying taxes to the corrupted goverment.

SHIT, it is a short post ain't it? I'll come back tomorrow and update more. But with words this time aite?

Night, fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

And that folks, is the personal message of the day. If God himself thinks you're a dumbass, then boy you're IT for life.

I should be asleep, I really should. School starts tomorrow...

And yet...

*Wears Team Luis shirt*

If you want the holidays to continue on for ANOTHER 3 weeks, dial 1300-Luis. And press #1 to vote!

Later, fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

YEEEAAHHH brothas and sistas, here I am. Didn't I tell ya all I'll be back? See, that's your goddamned problem, you all don't listen see.

Anyway, I wanna try out a little experiment of mine. NO, I didn't find a cure for racism, nothing like that. And DON'T give me that smirk, I'm warning you man, don't start.

So this little experiment is practically this. A few months back at ITE, my classmate asked me this during break-time. He was just sitting down there eating when he looked up and asked with a bemused expression.

"Luis, why DO you keep using the word mother******?"

So I laughed, see. And I told him. "Hilmi," His name is Hilmi. "Everybody and anybody can use the word. See, the word mother****** is a noun. It describes the person, place and thing."

Man, enough with the laughing. It's TRUE.

Seriously if you caught me on a bad day, you'll hear those words accompanied by a clearly pronounced english word every once in a while. Not for the faint of hearts, I warn ya.

So here's my little test. For 2 weeks, read it clearly. 2 WEEKS. I will try my best not to use THAT word. In fact, I won't say any swear words at all for 2 long weeks. And that's a promise.

And I'm serious bout this! I really am! I see this as a sort of cleansing ritual for my foul mouth, see. So! If I'm feeling stressed out or anything I won't use any curse words at all, no sir, I won't. I'll just fill them in with the words, 'darn', 'Doggone it' or 'Screw'.

Yes, my fellow men and women. I have absolute faith that I can push myself to the limit. I can do this! I can STOP swearing. See, swearing is like smoking. The more you do it, the more you'll get addicted or used to it.

And-- Hang on, phone's ringing.

Me: Hello?

Male voice: Hi, can I speak to Anna please?

Me: *Getting suspicious* Who is this again?

Male voice: Oh, it's me Aaron. You should know me right? Anna talks bout you all the time!

Me: *Terminator-like voice* She's not in, she's asleep at the moment.

Male voice: *Cheery* Oh! It's ok then I'll just call her back tomorrow. Good night!

Wow... Ok, I know I'm a little hard on the guy but... But, oh my God... I'm really sorry but WHAT THE HELL??!!!

You call ma house in the middle of the night asking for my SISTER, who is friggin' asleep! Just who the **** are you, home-boy? Oh I know YOU all right, you're my sister's ******* boyfriend! I'm not gonna say a damn thing to her BUT you lay one ******* hand on my sister and you *****-boy, you better LAY the **** off her. If I hear one complaint, your ass is MINE. You hear me you motherless, cow-humping, snot-licking, sewer-water drinking WALNUT!

...

Oh man...

I'll start laying off the swear words tomorrow...

Night fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Ok, so I THINK it was Thursday that my Godmum had a barbeque over at her place. I don't know for whatever reason, it was as dull as hell and it took them bout... 3 F****** hours just to get the food all grilled up.

Man, if you can't grill em' up fast, give someone else the goddamned spatula. I SWEAR my mum and godmum are scared of that spatula, can you guys imagine people with phobias of spatulas? Them people will be freakin' out at cookouts and shit. LOL.

Anyway, while they were trying to heat the food hot and stuff. I went on up and my ma tells me I had the responsibility to look after my sister, my mum's friend's daughter and son. Babysitting? Me? Man, you must be high on crack to think I'd wanna look after these three spawns of the devil.

So I've got my sister, the damned original spawn of the devil. And we've got my mum's friend's daughter, I forgotten her name, now I don't know how she communicates and stuff cause she don't talk and don't say shit. Either cause she's as shy as hell or she's just plain mute, I told her before we got into the house. "If something happens like a fire breaks out or something, you'd better have a whistle or a horn or something. OTherwise, you'd just be another burned out trash to me!"

Man, I wanted to use the MF word so badly in there but she's a snitch see. She's a snitch without having to even open her mouth, don't ask me how she does that now, she's just plain weird. Now, I'm gonna tell it like it is. Now her little brother's homosexual, see.

Aw, come on, don't be giving me THOSE kind of looks. It's TRUE! Crying all the goddamned time, quit crying do some push-ups or something!

Anyway, I was just in my Godmum's living room, my godbro went off to catch some shut-eye before dinner and my sister sent the faggot outside for some of the peanut butter and chocolate cake my Godmum made during the morning. Now, mind you all, my Godmum's got SKILLS when it comes to making dessert and it wasn't like I was being greedy or anything but that cake woulda spoiled his dinner, what? Hey, come ON, I'm serious, it will.

He walked right past me lying on the couch and I asked "Where ya off to?" He gonna reply me like this: "To get some peanut butter and chocolate cake." Now, it wasn't WHAT he said, it was the WAY he said and the way he friggin' STOOD!

He said it so funny and his posture almost gave me a stroke that I wanted to hear him say it again. Then I told that little homo that it was almost time for dinner and dinner ain't cake, dinners are meant for hungry-ass people gobbling down them hotdogs, steaks and hamburgers. Told him to take his punk-ass back to the room where the other two demons were. That's the way I talk to them, f*** that time-out shit!

Then as the faggot went back in I heard my sister ask him: "Where's the cake and stuff?", then he said THIS.

"He's outside,"

WHO the **** is 'HE'? Like I ain't got no name or something. "He's outside"... Pffft.

Then she said she's gonna go get the cake herself, she walked her little fat bowly legs outside, right past me and into the kitchen and I asked her, "What the **** you doing?", she gave me the same answer that faggot gave me, thank God she was standing like a girl. That's my sister, love ya for that one.

But she ain't touching that cake, so I told her: "Didn't I tell that punk-assed boy he couldn't have a slice? Weren't you listening when I told the faggot he couldn't have none? Get back inside till Mum calls us to go on back down for the barbeque!"

Oh, she's gonna look at me like I'm short or something. HELL NO, no, no, no, no, no. Shit no. Everyone in the world knows what's going through the person who looks at you up and down like their sizing you up. That looks means they wanna do something to you!

She's lucky I was feeling tired, demonic sons/daughters of the devil.

Anyway, this is where I hit the bed for tonight. Check back on soon or tomorrow, I might be updating once again, hopefully.

Later Fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Welcome to the special Sunday Night edition of--

Ah, screw it, I'm not gonna do the whole 'reporter' routine here tonight. I'mma give it you to plain and simple.

I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW.

Well, I won't be THAT harsh to the whorehou--I mean school. It IS the last week before the 3 week holiday which is next week if I'm not wrong. And I don't know what I'm gonna be doing during the holidays, the guys have Hari Raya to look forward too and all. Which leaves me at home with my laptop, the 360 and the DVD's. And I'm not kidding here, I would have played all the games and watched all those movies in 2 days!

Yeah, you heard me mother******, 2 FREAKIN' DAYS.

Man, I said it once and I'll say it again, I need some goddamned adventure. Jesus Christ, I wanna swing through a ravine on a bullship, I wanna walk through the woods of some uncharted place, be in a shootout, fist-fight, discover some ancient artifact and just wander through Pyramaids and Aztec temples.

Ok, maybe that's a little unrealistic.

I'm sick of being holed up at home like some mook while others run free down there. See, when I grow up I'mma go on a cruise and I'mma bring as much of you guys along, see. That's not unrealistic. It's FACT.

And now, my boring life post ends here for the weekend. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find some excitement during the week.

Oh yeah, parents? fuck it, they just don't understand.

Later Fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

And... I'm back.

So it's been ANOTHER long week at school. I'm not talking long as in 'Ugh, I've got tons of homework' kinda week. It's more like a...

Yeah, you guys get the idea.

Anyway, I was passing in the Punggol MRT station on Friday, on my way to the bus station to wait for the bus back home when I saw this, I'm not kidding now, I'm dead friggin' serious, a guy in his mid-twenties, average looking brother nothing special, carrying two large-ass shopping bags for his girlfriend who looks like she belongs in some Geisha community with all that make-up.

Can you guys imagine a Geisha Training Club down here on this island? We'll have women in freaky white make-up walking the streets all day, freaking out their husbands and shit like that. Ahaha...

So they were talking just a few feet away from me and I could see in the guy's posture and his forced smile that those bags he was carrying were putting a strain on him. Either he's stupid enough to know that if he keeps that up his gonna wake up the next morning a pretzel or he wants to impress his Geisha girlfriend.

Some women are like that, you see em' everyday, every minute, every hour. It don't matter if you're at home, in the mall or Church/Mosque/Temple. Every damn corner, there's bound to be a overly spoilt woman.

You know where in one of those TV shows where the husband and wife are arguing and there's a moment when the wife gives the husband a look and the husband shuts up and carries on eating. That's some funny stuff, everyone. LOL

See, Men can walk on moons, fire off guns, sing amazing songs, be legends themselves and start nuclear war with each other but we're all pretty damned zombies to our women, right?

Now, I'm not poking fun, it's the truth. It don't matter how tough we are or how much school prizes we win. We love our women and we give way. All except when it comes to watching TV or getting some 'me' time that is...

See, some women just loves to be our mother, father, accountant and pastor. They want to know who you with, where you've beena and where you're gone.

AHEM...

*Imitates snobby voice*

"Who's over there?"

"Where've you been?"

"Sit down here"

"Don't park the car there!"

"Slow down!"

"Light red!"

"STOP!"

"Taste this!"

Jesus, how DO we deal with it?? LOL. If you guys know, give me a holler.

Night, fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Hey everyone, I'm back and I'm really kinda worn out now. I don't know if it's me or my that goddamned little bottle of orange juice which had them little jelly slices floating around, that I drank earlier. I'm sure my sis actually spiked em' before I got them outta the fridge.

Stupid punk-ass little demon.

It might be the lack of sleep? Cause I've been waking up early these past couple of days trying to get to class on time. But am I early? Well sorta, 30 mins late is sorta... Ah, screw it.

This sucks big time, I'm updating only once a week instead of everyday cause of some damned course I don't even like but have no choice but to do it? Bad luck wanna mess with me? I'll retaliate by SKIPPING class ya dumb sons of bitches. Them dumb-ass mechanical engineering teachers strutting around all day in the workshop complaining bout poor attendace and late-coming. I come everyday you old piece of dog droppings. Which explains why I'm so fuckin' BROKE nowadays.

Yeah, you heard me right. I swear, I was a whole lot richer when I was in Siglap. 15 dollars can actually last me 3 FREAKIN' weeks, I'm not kidding, it actually did.

And the EZ-link cards running out within the week. What a shitload of fuck.

Get this: I just added bout 20 bucks to the damn thing last week and when I tapped out when I was getting home from Church the stupid thing read 9 dollars. 9 SHITTIN' DOLLARS, what happened?

Look, it's the year 2009. Why do we need these EZ-Link cards as a form of a fare? All we really need them for is some sort of a second ID or something, not a wallet for fare money. If by 2010 next year, we don't stop using EZ-link cards as our form of bus/MRT fare, then that's bullshit.

Ok, I think I went on just bout enough for tonight. Check back in tomorrow or something and hopefully I'll have a longer brighter sounding post.

Night, fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

So I just got back from a almost week-long hiatus. Ya know how hard it is to think up of funny stuff to type out everytime I come on here? Screw blog posts talking bout love and everyday life. If you're looking for something new and complex, you've come to the right place.

...

I think you all knew that a long time ago. Phooey.

Anyway, today was Grandpop's birthday and I REALLY gotta hand it to him. 78 years old and he's still as fit as a damn horse. Happy birthday, you roach-stompin' badass Grandpa :)

Ok, ok, sit back down, punk-asses. Enough bout my life, there's something that's REALLY been bothering me these past couple of days. Now, we're all grown here right? We're all grown?

You better be, assholes. I'm not gonna get some fatass mum or dad breathing down my neck asking me why I post up entires with my special uses of vulgarities. I'm a guy hitting 19, get over it ya oversized overaged dumb pieces of shit.

Anyway, ever noticed that when you're Secondary/High School, you're the first thought on your parents mind. But when you graduate you're that homeless idiot walking around the house?

So one day my mum came to my room and started talking bout responsibilities and all that other bla-bla-bla bullshit. Then she says she trusts me now that I'm all--

Wait, hold up.

So she trusts me but she doesn't TRUSTS me enough to stay out till whenever I want.

COWA'FUCKING PIECE OF DOG SHIT. IF YOU TRUST ME, THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEMS OF ME STAYING OUT NOW WOULD THERE?! WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK, WHAT A BOWL OF BUFFALO PISS. FUCK EVERYTHING, IT'S TIME TO TAKE A STAND.

Right after I catch up on some sleep. Fuckin' distance from my house to school left me feeling all drugged up and sleepy when I wake up, wish there was some sort of drink that will let me snap outta my sleep or something. It's the year 2009 and we don't even have stuff like that? Shit-Ass

Oh my God... What the fuck's da time?

Crap it, I got breakfast with da family tomorrow guys. So I'm just gonna end it off down here. So yeah, check back in tomorrow night and I'll probably have a longer post up and running.

Later, Fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Hey everyone, NO, this is not a post. Not really anyway, get off the damn couch. Punk-ass son of my bitch.

Anyway, I'm gonna be on hiatus for a short period of time and hopefully I'll be back on Monday with some new posts. So if you do WANT to keep coming back to my blog for whatever reason and expect a new post, you can always read through the archives. But be warned, some of them previous entries from the last 2 years are as EMO as HELL.

So yeah, if you wanna be kept updated just look out for me on Facebook or MSN. I'm always around.

Take care fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Ah! Come on right in.

So I headed out with Feroz today to Peninsula to get his shirt for his performance tomorrow, got his stuff, went up to KFC and ate a little late lunch. Boy oh boy, it's been a while since these good ol' teeth sunk deep right into some Kentucky fun down deep, hombre. Way to long.

Now, I don't know if any of you ever felt the way I do bout house phones. If you recall back in my Archives this year or so, I spoke up strongly on how the house phones always seem to ring at the most unappropriate of times. Let's take it to the next level, suppose you're at home alone with some KFC take-out. It's a nice day and and you've got your game console and a couple of the Colonel's finest wings WHEN SUDDENLY THE FUCKING PHONE RINGS.

Why? Why do people ALWAYS call at the most inappropriate times? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO RELAX DOWN HERE?! HUH?!

And here's the most fucked up part of all sometimes, you manage to get off your couch and stumble your way to the damn phone, you pick it up and say 'Hello' and no one fucking answers! That just hung up cause maybe it's the wrong number or it's a crank call!

Why do we carry around our cellphones for? For us to get our personal calls! What's the point of lugging it around when everyone keeps calling the damn house phone? CALL THE FREAKIN' CELL!

But then again, there's the monthly bill. It's always an asshole.

If we do get bills in the future, I'm gonna have one word to say: BULLSHIT.

Ever wonder why we pay bills? Where does the money all go? Let's say your monthly bills about 40 or 50 bucks. Your mum/dad pays em' and where do they all go really? WHERE IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS SACRED DOES OUR PARENTS HARD-EARNED MONEY GO?!

Imagine! What you could buy with 50 bucks or more a month. Your parents or you could buy something worthwhile, like a prepaid card, treating your girlfriend to a fancy restaurant, getting some band t-shirts and stuff like that. Goverments are corrupted, we're all born to be slaves, my man. Peace.

Anyway, it's the end of another weekend. The weekends go by so fast now... Goes to show how we really appreciate our free time, don't it :-\

Eyes wide open, Mercs! More will up soon!

Aideu, mother******!

-Luis-

Mum: *knocking on door* You know, you're still going to need to go to school even though you're only half and hour late. You can't stay in there for another 7 hours you know.

Me: SHUT UP, SEE! I'M TAKING CONTROL OF MY GOD DARN SCHEDULE, SEE. FROM NOW ONWARD THERE'S NO CLASSES EXCEPT ON THE DAYS THAT I SAY SO, SEE! ALL YOU BOYS BETTER BACK OFF BEFORE I CUT MY WRIST LIKE THE EMO I AM, SEE?!

*Ends flashback*

Ah, come on right in. I was just having a flashback of my angsty filled days of Primary School. Now, who here DOESN'T hate Primary school? We all did, it was a time of big-ass kids who had the IQ of a cryogenetically frozen caveman taking your lunch money and giving you wedgies.

I said it once and I'll say it AGAIN. No one and I mean NO ONE has good memories of Primary School, I didn't, that's for sure. WHO in the right mind has good memories of Primary School? You were always treated like 2nd hand pupils and such.

And there's the PSLE. PSLE-makers are assholes, they delibrately set up the required aggregates and subjects just to f**k around with out little immature minds and shit. Wanna know why I repeated P6 twice? Look no further then the goverment and the PSLE-makers, boys and girls.

I swear, this year after I visited Siglap on Teacher's Day I'm going back to Elias Park primary and go all Rambo on their asses. Who's up for it, eh? *glances around audience*

No one???

Ah, ya buncha wet willies

Anyway, that's all the time I have for this particular post. I'll be posting up more sooner then you think, keep an open eye out though. Night fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

I knew there's something about that new hand soap in the bathroom. The ingredients in it SMELLED like on of my meds from the doctor a couple years back. Hmmm...

*Glances up from book*

Ah! Bonjour, didn't hear you come in.


So I just heard that Siglap's having their usual study sessions this time of the year. Seeing as how the 'O's are nearby and almost every single student's busting their chops over something like some DNT wood structutre or something, maybe those guys wanna be lumberjacks when they grow up or something.

'Uh... Hey Bob, check out ma new tree trunk. I'm calling it Betty!'

'You dumbass, that's the giant wooden crane replica the kids built!'

And there goes the next generation. Lumberjacks of the future for those poor souls who took DNT. God bless em' all.

...

Nah, I'm kidding.

But yeah, I never really liked DNT back then and I despise it EVEN more now. Wanna know why? You SHOULD by now. If you ain't got no idea why I hate it, you've freshly fucked it up with me.

Anyway, I was spending some quality time with the 360 yesterday or so and I was on a roll, slicing up people here and there. Man, Epic Bad-Assness at work... Until my demon sister started up her damn game called 'Audition'

Now, I REALLY in a million f***in' years have no IDEA why that damn game is so appealing to certain types of people. For those of you guys who don't know what the game's about, it's basically this stupid 3-D game with Japanese girls street-dancing and doing some of the most unbelieveable moves such as spinning around on the ground on your freakin HEAD.

Jesus, can these games get any more stupid?! I lost my fuckin' concentration on my game when that shitload of fuck starts playing it's stupid Techno songs. Punk-ass Michael Jackson wannabes dancing around on screen with secondhand game clothing, will someone out there find the creator of the game and disect him? SLOWLY.

Then I was getting used to the beat in the background and all. You know, I sat back on my chair and eased my mind while watching those poor saps on my screen get sliced when THIS happens:

Sis: *whiny voice* Aaron... Entertain me. I see you in school also never talk.

...

WHO THE FUCK IS AARON?!

Now, see, we've all got siblings, some of us do anyway. Yeah, so when we have younger siblings we look out for them and teach em' some stuff as they go on about our lives, right? Apparently this method failed and my sis, juding from what I've heard, likes this Aaron guy who just so happens to be in Siglap.

I smell blackmail..

Oh my God, i've got so much to say bout this. But I'm not gonna go on and on bout it for now, maybe tomorrow.

Tally-Ho, fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Good God, you're so freakin' hard to please, you know that?

I'm out there everyday, at class trying to make you proud of me. I'm doing the best I can, and the sad thing is you can't even tell I'm trying.

Perhaps... It is cause you spent more time at work then at home? You put food on the table for us all the time but maybe you need to sit back and see what we're all really doing. You say I'm wasting my time, goddamn it, why don't you come on over and see how hard I'm doing what I'm doing?

I'm actually typing this out as to not vent out my anger to much. Why do you think I avoid rows with you? It's cause I know for one, I can't win, you'll always have your goddamned freakin' way.

It hurts me more then it hurts you, you know that?

You're my idol, inspiration and pillar of support. But most importantly... You're my DAD, man....

Fuck it, I'm sorry

So this is something I haven't talked about in a while. I USED to talk about it a lot last year, but don't, cause it's unhealthy, it seriously is.

This kinda came to mind just this morning when I was eating breakfast and a certain TV show caught my eye and I was reminded of a little conversation I had with Amirnur a week before the June holidays. We were on the way back home in the bus, Friday morning, sunny day and comfortable seats in the bus. EPIC.

He was telling me bout why he just wants to stay single for the time being and all. And I felt that I could relate to him in a LOT of ways, I didn't tell him that of course, it slipped my mind when he was talking so I'mma tell it right here.

So let's talk bitchy/prima donna/ type of girlfriends. Their the kind that, like everyone knows, wants to get their way all the time. You go to the mall, you'll see some guy heaving along with him a shit-load of shopping bags and a few feet in front of him, flaunting her new dress is his girlfriend, how sad is that?

There's also another thing, the way they'll get all whiny and mad when you have to end a call early and shit even though you've been on the phone for two FREAKIN' hours. So you'll say something like 'But I'm tired, my body's weary.' then she'll say somethin' like, 'I'mma get myself a better and more attentive person then you.'

Well, go get the young motherfucker, I don't care. Poor fool's turn now to put his phone to his ear every night to hear the sound of sharp nails screeching on a damn blackboard!

It don't take all night to talk bout how's your day, whatcha doing tomorrow, when do you wanna meet up etc. What the fuck you wanna to talk till 3:30am in the fuckin' morning with that kinda shit, what the FUCK am I tryin' to prove here?!!

It don't take all night to talk bout a certain topic, ok for most girls yeah, I understand, I'm talking bout CERTAIN girls here. 30 minutes!!! I'll give ya 30 mins to talk bout a certain topic that's bothering ya! That's a heavyweight 3 round bout, and people get knocked out in the first goddamned round.

You layin' the smackdown on me over the phone screaming stuff like:

Spoilt/Bitchy/Impatient girl: You know what, I can't believe you. This is like, the third you wanted to hang up early! Don't you even care about me anymore?! There's someone else isn't there?! You're hanging out with that stupid shy girl from--

Me: STOP ALL THAT HOLLERING AND PUT DOWN THE DAMN PHONE SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP!!!
Fuckin' loud mouthed once you get it started then it goes something like this:

Spoilt/Bitchy/Impatient: YOU ARE!!! OH, IT'S SO OVER BETWEEN YOU AND ME, YOU HEAR ME, YOU --

Me: BITCH, I SAID BUST A NUT!!! *HANGS UP*

Sheesh... All that damned girl-dominates-guy phone calls, I'm sick of it. Like:

Spoilt/Impatient/Bitchy: So, whatcha gonna buy for me next time? Where we gonna go, what are you gonna be doing?

Me: Bust you motherfuckin' head, that's what the fuck I'll do!



Or maybe something like this:

Spoilt/Impatient/Bitchy: Oh, surprise me on Wednesday will you? Those roses are dead and I'll be needing more flowers for my new procelain vase, you see...

Me: FOR WHAT, YA NASTY *INSERTS DEMEANING WORD HERE*

Spoilt/Impatient/Bitchy: Oh. so you WON'T do it? I thought we were suppose to shower each other with gifts, roses and soft cuddly toys everytime we meet up--

Me: I'LL BUY YOU THOSE STUFF WHEN I WANNA GODDAMNED FEEL LIKE IT!!!

Jesus, how much more demanding do you wanna get? And when they start pretending to cry and all that shit, just let them go on cause they got to LEARN, they got to learn, the fuck they'll learn...

Then here's another thing, it's something quite personal? On a certain level I guess, now we're all grown here, we've all have some younger siblings that we kinda hate but still love no matter what. But when it comes to that particular period of time when your sis gets a boyfriend, the family's gonna gather round the dinner table and the relatives anre gonna start shaking the heads and saying 'My sister ain't doing a goddamned thing bout her kid, look at her talk to him like that. Oh my, my, my.'

That's why I'mma be my sister's future boyfriend's babysitter. No, I ain't lying! It's TRUE! I'mma prove to everyone I'm a good brother and trustworthy enough to the boyfriend.

I will fuck that guy up.

My sister's don't need to get all suspicious, like what's in it for her or anything. I'm doing this job for free. She don't need no hidden videos lying around the place just to see what's goings on. Cause when he comes right out the room and to where she is, he's gonna look her in the eye and tell her what the fuck's going on.

When he walks out and he's got a cut right on his forehead and blood's spilling down like cherry soda and she screams at me, 'What the fuck happened to my boyfriend???!!!' I'mma tell ya, sis, I took a hammer and slapped THE FUCK OUTTA HIM!!!

Jumpin' on my bed, using my MSN to contact his shit-bags of Ah Bengs and Indian gigolos, showing me his piercings and fucking homo-ass tattos. SIT YO PUNK ASS DOWN.

This is me, Luis Lim, the Merc with a mouth. Night fellow Mercs, eyes wide open with tweezers for the next post up!

-Luis-

Ok, is the window secured? God-awful sons of bitches can be flying around in the rain...

If you guys haven't noticed, it's been raining quite a few times this couple of weeks and when it rains it pours, like we all know. But here's something else, when it rains... It brings in unwanted DISGUSTING visitors.

I'm talking about those bugs, you know the ones who ALWAYs for some reason fly into people's houses. I'm not talking bout those small ones but those big-ass ones with giant wings and big black fuckin' bodies!

Now I'm sure most of you guys have encountered them before. They look like giant wasps but aren't really wasps, there's a name for them I just don't know what it is. But fuck it, they can be called Bees II, Waspinator, W.A.S.P or Bumble-fuckin-wasp for all I care, these guys DO NOT come into my house and scare the shit outta anyone.

And when you do see them, you kinda get into a shocked state and all, so all you could do is scream your freakin' lungs out or turn away and run. I mean, what I'm trying to say is--OH GOD!!!

*Takes out fly swatter in defense*

Oh... Nothing... Oh my God, I need to calm down. Don't think too much bout it, yeah...

So anyway, just this other night last week, I just finished dinner and like any other guy I went to the bathroom to wash up and waddya know? A fuckin' big bug's on the freakin' rug sitting there, thinking my bathroom is a SHELTHER FROM THE RAIN!

Needless to say, the little fu**nut caught me with my pants down. I AM NOT KIDDING. I MEAN IT LITERALLY, HE CAUGHT ME WITH MY PANTS DOWN.

So I ran out to get the swatter and when I got back, the little shit-ball is scrambling to hide behind the damn sink.

Get back here, you little f***ing piece of dog-turd. *whacks mindlessly*

Ok, so I missed and he ended up flying back out into the rain. But HE left and I'm still in the bathroom, LUIS WINS. Gross-out FAIL.

I mean for some reason, those freakin assed bugs keep flying into our houses every single time it rains! It's freakin' annoying, and you know what's worse? IM the one who has to catch them most of the damn time!

Sis: Kuya (Big bro in Tagalog) there's a bee in my room!

Me: WHAT?! Again?! you want me to stop my fucking game to catch some fuckin' bee?!! Holy mother of fuck, you wanna know how those bees get in? CAUSE YOU LEFT THE FUCKIN' WINDOW WIDE OPEN!

And after a bit of arguing, I killed the bee and threw him out the window. I almost half-expected a swarm to come right at me the moment I did that but thank God, there wasn't a nest nearby.

What am I, a insect/creepy crawlie bounty hunter?! Man, my sis is afraid of ants for God's sakes, ANTS! Now, my Dad and Grandpa share my feelings bout our unwanted guests and we EXPRESS our feelings in the most colorful ways possible.

Dad hates lizards, so do I. Hate em', hate em', hate em'.

Now, my grandpa? He's badass, seriously, which senior citizen picks up a cockroach, throws it to the ground hard and stomps the shit outta it? That's HARDCORE.

But the thing is, they aren't around most of the time, which leaves ME to take care of those crawlies in the daylight.

Seriously man, next time there's a bug and I catch it, someone in the household better pay me. My bounty-hunting for crawlies don't come for free, Jesus...

-Luis-

I REALLY don't wanna look at the time now.

You wanna know why?

Oh, it's not that I'm afraid that it's late or anything.

Oh no, no...

*Looks at date*

UGH!!! Two more days till school reopens*@#@#$^&*!!!

But I gotta say, it's been a pretty satisfying 5 or 4 weeks though. I went out, partied hard and really enjoyed myself. Goddamn, must the holidays end so soon? Time really few by, I ain't kidding now.

Pretty soon, we'll all be back to our monotonous lives, waking up, going to school/work, coming home and repeating the same process the next day.

It's all fated, sir. We're bound to be zombies till the day we die.

Ya know, I'm really starting to get creeped out by what I just said. Espacially since it's f****** TRUE, time to lighten things up.

*Throws empty can of Coke at passerby at the street below*

Ah shit, it's a cop...

But really, when was the last time YOU woke up, got dressed for school, glanced outside the window just in time to see a beautiful sunrise before thinking.

'Why am i doing this? It's a beautiful start to the day and I've gotta spend half of it in school? Screw THAT! I could stay at home, read a book, go skateboarding or calling up the guys after THEY'VE finished school. Not going to school one day isn't gonna end the world.'

When was the LAST time you thought like that? Eh? Huh? HUH???!

Speaking of which, I wonder how Siglap has been doing. I haven't been in since Mrs. Lye's leaving party about... I don't know, several weeks ago? I heard their having their orals right about now.

...

Time DOES fly...

*Sigh*

Anyway, I'm done for the night, everyone. But keep an eye out, I'll update sooner then you think though. Cheers, fellow Mercenaries!

-Luis-

Probably the best 'Fail' compilation vid I found on YouTube so far. Enjoy fellow Mercs...

-Luis-

You know what's bullshit part 7

You know what's bullshit?

Curfews.

I'm not even gonna stress it, this is something everyone hates, curfews are bullshit!

You don't need to teach a kindegarderner bout curfews at all, they won't listen anyway cause they KNOW it's something that will haunt them and their teenage lives in the future.

Nobody likes curfews, so why do certain people keep setting them up?! Cause their Agents of the Devil that's why.

Or maybe Ted Turner, Ted's an asshole.

Take me for example, and this is something i'm not joking about. I AM NOT, I'mma repeat myself, AM NOT allowed to stay out AFTER 10 FREAKIN' PM.

I am DEAD serious, I'm not fucking joking at all. I'm gonna be friggin' 19 this year and I still get the Parent Protection Program on hounding on my ass and keeping tracks of my every damn movement every single day. That's bullshit!

Now when the average guy/girl hits the big 18 or 19, their already considered adults. And it's every parents dream to see their own child stand on their two feet,to be independent. But how are you gonna expect that when you fucking hound them?!

So, what? I'm gonna be checked up on every single hour? Go home every time I'm told to just cause it's a little too late?

Man, FUCK THAT!!!

So say it out loud, everyone. Cause that's bullshit.

-Luis-