She called me Frankenstein

So this is something I haven't talked about in a while. I USED to talk about it a lot last year, but don't, cause it's unhealthy, it seriously is.

This kinda came to mind just this morning when I was eating breakfast and a certain TV show caught my eye and I was reminded of a little conversation I had with Amirnur a week before the June holidays. We were on the way back home in the bus, Friday morning, sunny day and comfortable seats in the bus. EPIC.

He was telling me bout why he just wants to stay single for the time being and all. And I felt that I could relate to him in a LOT of ways, I didn't tell him that of course, it slipped my mind when he was talking so I'mma tell it right here.

So let's talk bitchy/prima donna/ type of girlfriends. Their the kind that, like everyone knows, wants to get their way all the time. You go to the mall, you'll see some guy heaving along with him a shit-load of shopping bags and a few feet in front of him, flaunting her new dress is his girlfriend, how sad is that?

There's also another thing, the way they'll get all whiny and mad when you have to end a call early and shit even though you've been on the phone for two FREAKIN' hours. So you'll say something like 'But I'm tired, my body's weary.' then she'll say somethin' like, 'I'mma get myself a better and more attentive person then you.'

Well, go get the young motherfucker, I don't care. Poor fool's turn now to put his phone to his ear every night to hear the sound of sharp nails screeching on a damn blackboard!

It don't take all night to talk bout how's your day, whatcha doing tomorrow, when do you wanna meet up etc. What the fuck you wanna to talk till 3:30am in the fuckin' morning with that kinda shit, what the FUCK am I tryin' to prove here?!!

It don't take all night to talk bout a certain topic, ok for most girls yeah, I understand, I'm talking bout CERTAIN girls here. 30 minutes!!! I'll give ya 30 mins to talk bout a certain topic that's bothering ya! That's a heavyweight 3 round bout, and people get knocked out in the first goddamned round.

You layin' the smackdown on me over the phone screaming stuff like:

Spoilt/Bitchy/Impatient girl: You know what, I can't believe you. This is like, the third you wanted to hang up early! Don't you even care about me anymore?! There's someone else isn't there?! You're hanging out with that stupid shy girl from--

Me: STOP ALL THAT HOLLERING AND PUT DOWN THE DAMN PHONE SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP!!!
Fuckin' loud mouthed once you get it started then it goes something like this:

Spoilt/Bitchy/Impatient: YOU ARE!!! OH, IT'S SO OVER BETWEEN YOU AND ME, YOU HEAR ME, YOU --

Me: BITCH, I SAID BUST A NUT!!! *HANGS UP*

Sheesh... All that damned girl-dominates-guy phone calls, I'm sick of it. Like:

Spoilt/Impatient/Bitchy: So, whatcha gonna buy for me next time? Where we gonna go, what are you gonna be doing?

Me: Bust you motherfuckin' head, that's what the fuck I'll do!



Or maybe something like this:

Spoilt/Impatient/Bitchy: Oh, surprise me on Wednesday will you? Those roses are dead and I'll be needing more flowers for my new procelain vase, you see...

Me: FOR WHAT, YA NASTY *INSERTS DEMEANING WORD HERE*

Spoilt/Impatient/Bitchy: Oh. so you WON'T do it? I thought we were suppose to shower each other with gifts, roses and soft cuddly toys everytime we meet up--

Me: I'LL BUY YOU THOSE STUFF WHEN I WANNA GODDAMNED FEEL LIKE IT!!!

Jesus, how much more demanding do you wanna get? And when they start pretending to cry and all that shit, just let them go on cause they got to LEARN, they got to learn, the fuck they'll learn...

Then here's another thing, it's something quite personal? On a certain level I guess, now we're all grown here, we've all have some younger siblings that we kinda hate but still love no matter what. But when it comes to that particular period of time when your sis gets a boyfriend, the family's gonna gather round the dinner table and the relatives anre gonna start shaking the heads and saying 'My sister ain't doing a goddamned thing bout her kid, look at her talk to him like that. Oh my, my, my.'

That's why I'mma be my sister's future boyfriend's babysitter. No, I ain't lying! It's TRUE! I'mma prove to everyone I'm a good brother and trustworthy enough to the boyfriend.

I will fuck that guy up.

My sister's don't need to get all suspicious, like what's in it for her or anything. I'm doing this job for free. She don't need no hidden videos lying around the place just to see what's goings on. Cause when he comes right out the room and to where she is, he's gonna look her in the eye and tell her what the fuck's going on.

When he walks out and he's got a cut right on his forehead and blood's spilling down like cherry soda and she screams at me, 'What the fuck happened to my boyfriend???!!!' I'mma tell ya, sis, I took a hammer and slapped THE FUCK OUTTA HIM!!!

Jumpin' on my bed, using my MSN to contact his shit-bags of Ah Bengs and Indian gigolos, showing me his piercings and fucking homo-ass tattos. SIT YO PUNK ASS DOWN.

This is me, Luis Lim, the Merc with a mouth. Night fellow Mercs, eyes wide open with tweezers for the next post up!

-Luis-