Monday, September 14, 2009

Ok, so I THINK it was Thursday that my Godmum had a barbeque over at her place. I don't know for whatever reason, it was as dull as hell and it took them bout... 3 F****** hours just to get the food all grilled up.

Man, if you can't grill em' up fast, give someone else the goddamned spatula. I SWEAR my mum and godmum are scared of that spatula, can you guys imagine people with phobias of spatulas? Them people will be freakin' out at cookouts and shit. LOL.

Anyway, while they were trying to heat the food hot and stuff. I went on up and my ma tells me I had the responsibility to look after my sister, my mum's friend's daughter and son. Babysitting? Me? Man, you must be high on crack to think I'd wanna look after these three spawns of the devil.

So I've got my sister, the damned original spawn of the devil. And we've got my mum's friend's daughter, I forgotten her name, now I don't know how she communicates and stuff cause she don't talk and don't say shit. Either cause she's as shy as hell or she's just plain mute, I told her before we got into the house. "If something happens like a fire breaks out or something, you'd better have a whistle or a horn or something. OTherwise, you'd just be another burned out trash to me!"

Man, I wanted to use the MF word so badly in there but she's a snitch see. She's a snitch without having to even open her mouth, don't ask me how she does that now, she's just plain weird. Now, I'm gonna tell it like it is. Now her little brother's homosexual, see.

Aw, come on, don't be giving me THOSE kind of looks. It's TRUE! Crying all the goddamned time, quit crying do some push-ups or something!

Anyway, I was just in my Godmum's living room, my godbro went off to catch some shut-eye before dinner and my sister sent the faggot outside for some of the peanut butter and chocolate cake my Godmum made during the morning. Now, mind you all, my Godmum's got SKILLS when it comes to making dessert and it wasn't like I was being greedy or anything but that cake woulda spoiled his dinner, what? Hey, come ON, I'm serious, it will.

He walked right past me lying on the couch and I asked "Where ya off to?" He gonna reply me like this: "To get some peanut butter and chocolate cake." Now, it wasn't WHAT he said, it was the WAY he said and the way he friggin' STOOD!

He said it so funny and his posture almost gave me a stroke that I wanted to hear him say it again. Then I told that little homo that it was almost time for dinner and dinner ain't cake, dinners are meant for hungry-ass people gobbling down them hotdogs, steaks and hamburgers. Told him to take his punk-ass back to the room where the other two demons were. That's the way I talk to them, f*** that time-out shit!

Then as the faggot went back in I heard my sister ask him: "Where's the cake and stuff?", then he said THIS.

"He's outside,"

WHO the **** is 'HE'? Like I ain't got no name or something. "He's outside"... Pffft.

Then she said she's gonna go get the cake herself, she walked her little fat bowly legs outside, right past me and into the kitchen and I asked her, "What the **** you doing?", she gave me the same answer that faggot gave me, thank God she was standing like a girl. That's my sister, love ya for that one.

But she ain't touching that cake, so I told her: "Didn't I tell that punk-assed boy he couldn't have a slice? Weren't you listening when I told the faggot he couldn't have none? Get back inside till Mum calls us to go on back down for the barbeque!"

Oh, she's gonna look at me like I'm short or something. HELL NO, no, no, no, no, no. Shit no. Everyone in the world knows what's going through the person who looks at you up and down like their sizing you up. That looks means they wanna do something to you!

She's lucky I was feeling tired, demonic sons/daughters of the devil.

Anyway, this is where I hit the bed for tonight. Check back on soon or tomorrow, I might be updating once again, hopefully.

Later Fellow Mercs!

-Luis-

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Welcome to the special Sunday Night edition of--

Ah, screw it, I'm not gonna do the whole 'reporter' routine here tonight. I'mma give it you to plain and simple.

I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW.

Well, I won't be THAT harsh to the whorehou--I mean school. It IS the last week before the 3 week holiday which is next week if I'm not wrong. And I don't know what I'm gonna be doing during the holidays, the guys have Hari Raya to look forward too and all. Which leaves me at home with my laptop, the 360 and the DVD's. And I'm not kidding here, I would have played all the games and watched all those movies in 2 days!

Yeah, you heard me mother******, 2 FREAKIN' DAYS.

Man, I said it once and I'll say it again, I need some goddamned adventure. Jesus Christ, I wanna swing through a ravine on a bullship, I wanna walk through the woods of some uncharted place, be in a shootout, fist-fight, discover some ancient artifact and just wander through Pyramaids and Aztec temples.

Ok, maybe that's a little unrealistic.

I'm sick of being holed up at home like some mook while others run free down there. See, when I grow up I'mma go on a cruise and I'mma bring as much of you guys along, see. That's not unrealistic. It's FACT.

And now, my boring life post ends here for the weekend. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find some excitement during the week.

Oh yeah, parents? fuck it, they just don't understand.

Later Fellow Mercs!

-Luis-